Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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