the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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