making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So many bounce houses so little time
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
