I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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