Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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