oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This house was built for laser tag.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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