I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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