you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
