i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
