ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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