So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
