Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
