I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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