i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
