Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
