I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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