Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
