The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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