I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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