shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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