I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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