Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
