the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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