I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
