Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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