I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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