Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
