His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i believe in u and ur pee
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