I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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