Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
