I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The adults are the big ones right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
