what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
