I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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