I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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