Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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