I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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