he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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