Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
