everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
