as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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