I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can I color on your dick again?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
