i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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