4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
