I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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