Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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