things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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