If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
