U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
