Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
