what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
