I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she woke up with a sticky ear
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
