remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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