Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
